Blog: Meep’s Paws (3/11/22)
See how comfortable I look? Could YOU disturb such a peaceful and round kitty? I do not think so.
Hello everyone, my name is Meep. I’m a short-haired black domestic cat with a white blaze on my chest and have been your editor, Patti Danner’s, companion for most of my 13 years.
Pretty much every time she tries to use her laptop at home, I make it a point to lay on the hot keyboard every time she leaves the room, innocently staring at her with my irresistible cat upside down on his return. It usually saves me an extra 10 or 15 minutes of hot keyboard time. I also like stepping on the keyboard, messing up everything she does, rolling over it because it’s funny, and pressing multiple keys at once while rubbing my face on the keyboard. Then I redo the irresistible face upside down. Works every time.
Since I love such an obsessive relationship with her keyboard, Patti offered to let me write my own column this week, and I eagerly accepted her offer. Finally, a chance to speak to her readers, a chance to vent my cat frustrations and tell the world about the inherent injustices of a cat’s life. First off, no opposable thumbs, which makes it harder than it should be, but I have so much free time, it’s ridiculous, so I’m going to hammer as best I can.
Some say that we cats live a luxurious and lazy life, sleeping most of the day and having our meals prepared, and these things are true. But there are a lot of struggles in a cat’s life, let me tell you.
Like every time she gets up from her comfortable place on the bed and I, seeing only a preheated and comfortable area with my innocent cat senses, happily jump up to occupy the place she has obviously created and heated. for me.
Imagine my heartache when she comes back, expecting me to leave the place! But I’ve just arrived, and it’s so hot!
I love stepping on her chest as she lies on her stomach watching TV, settling down with my butt in her face, purring loudly. What is there to protest against that? I’m perfectly at ease but apparently I make a better door than a window, or so she tells me. Bullshit.
Sometimes I suspect she doesn’t appreciate my so reliable skills as an alarm clock every morning, weekdays or weekends, waking her up with loud ‘meows’ in the face as I walk past her. abdomen to his head, usually about ten or fifteen minutes before his phone alarm goes off. Personally, I think loud meows and cat breathing are much more effective and pleasant to wake up to, but she doesn’t seem to agree. Humans are so weird.
I know she really appreciates my riding skills, because I hot rod from one end of the house to the other for no apparent reason. She loves it, I’m sure. Otherwise, why would she ask if I have ants in my pants or vipers in my diapers, and call me “Speed Racer” and other endearing terms?
Another thing I know she likes is when I rub my hairy face all over her face leaving behind tiny hairs that are impossible to see, the kind that makes her feel like she has things crawling on his face. I especially love doing it right after she applies Chapstick because then her lips are so smooth and the tiny hairs stick so much better.
I love that she hasn’t tried to adopt cats anymore, it’s just me inside the house. It’s a bit lonely at times I suppose, but as a unique cat I appreciate the luxury of premium cat food and the first and only dib on toys and treats, and her undivided attention , belly rubbing and head scratching.
There are about six or seven stray animals living outside, but I tolerate their presence very well. We can sometimes hear them moving around under the house, probably “hot” like I do. It’s warmer down there thanks to the air vents, and Patti has put heat lamps on the porch for the kittens to lounge on or in the coolers she has installed. They don’t complain, they seem happy to be fed every day and Patti seems to enjoy taking care of them.
So while we have an ongoing issue with hotspots and keyboard ownership, we get along pretty well and cater to each other’s needs perfectly.
Yes, I think I will keep it.
Patti is the editor of the Greene County Daily World. She loves to laugh and also loves kittens. She’s a bit weird but has a heart of gold. If you want to share a story or just make a friend, she can be contacted at [email protected]