The one dedicated to stuck Brian Stelter from CNN

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Everyone loves gossip, and no more than those of us who work in the industry. Welcome to Unreliable Sources, where you’ll find the juiciest scandals, shocking stories, and buzzing news that is currently circulating the halls of power across American culture. If you don’t have anything nice to say, come sit next to me …

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Humpty Dumpty was sitting on a wall…

Is there anyone more self-absorbed than Brian Stelter, presenter of CNN’s “Reliable Sources”?

Stuck-Up Stelter – aka “Humpty Dumpty,” according to Sean Hannity – even pisses his left-wing colleague with his “it’s all about me” style of journalism.

“I don’t think I’ve met anyone with an ego as big as Brian,” a CNN source whispered to Unreliable sources.

“When we moved from Columbus Circle to the new complex in Hudson Yards (New York), the joke was that we didn’t know if Brian’s ego would go through the door!”

This is a very harsh assessment of the self-proclaimed media czar. Thus, this column undertook a rigorous two-minute investigation to discover the real truth about Stuck-Up Stelter.

Exhibit A.

Unreliable sources turned to Stuck-Up Stelter’s insufferable nightly newscast this week, titled (incorrectly) “CNN’s trusted sources.” Here are our conclusions:

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It’s all about me

His signature in bold was highlighted in yellow – just in case, one, you missed his photo above, and two, you didn’t notice it was Stuck-Up Stelter writing the newsletter.

OK, so Stuck-Up Stelter can use the highlight on his Mac and like his name.

It’s all about me me

Instead of reporting the news from the media, Stuck-Up Stelter thinks he’s Hunter S. Thompson reincarnated and takes us on a gonzo journalism mission on Fox News’ 25th anniversary.

OK, so Stuck-Up Stelter thinks he’s one of the most iconic journalists in the business today.

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It’s all about me me me

“But for families who feel like they’ve been torn apart by Fox, it’s not a happy birthday,” writes Stuck-Up Stelter, relaxing us to be ready for his groundbreaking reporting.

“I asked Jen Senko about this because she made a movie called ‘Brainwashing My Father’ which she turned into a book of the same name, recently released this week.” Well, well , well, “she said, when I emailed her about the 25-year milestone.”

OK, so Stuck-Up Stelter knows how to send emails.

It’s all about me me me me

In the next paragraph, Stuck-Up Stelter takes it to a whole new level.

“In the report of my book“ HOAX… ”, he dribbled, with a hyperlink to buy the book from Simon & Schuster, his publisher.

We can’t help but wonder if this type of paid play is up to CNN’s standards and ethics? (Hint: it isn’t.)

OK, so Stuck-Up Stelter loves sneaky tussles.

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It’s all about me Me Me Me Me

Not content with fitting into the previous story, Stuck-Up Stelter went on to explain how underrated Fox News was when it debuted in 1996.

“The Fox cheerleaders a quarter of a century later still cite ‘naysayers’ like Bill Carter,” wrote Stuck-Up Stelter, referring to the former New York Times writer.

Take the opportunity to introduce yourself, once again!

“I was wondering how Carter, now a CNN media analyst, felt seeing his newly invoked old story, so I emailed him, and here is what he said: ‘The television landscape was obviously very different 25 years ago .. “” blah blah blah blah.

OK, so Stuck-Up Stelter is a really really good e-mailer.

Everything revolves around me Me Me Me Me Me

To top it off, Stuck-Up Stelter refers to a video of Fox’s first seven minutes on air, noting that his first day was “nothing like today.”

But instead of just linking to Twitter, Stuck Up-Stelter cited where it came from.

“My friend Pat Kiernan …”

He’s the weird-looking dude from NY1, who works alongside Stuck-Up Stelter’s wife, Ms. Stuck-Up, who, in case you didn’t read “Reliable Sources,” gets a mention in her husband’s nighttime handjob. .

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Everything revolves around me Me Me Me Me Me Me

To be doubly sure Unreliable sources didn’t unfairly characterize Stuck-Up Stelter, we took a look at another newsletter from earlier this week.

Exhibit B.

This time the newsletter was inked from the desk of Oliver Darcy, a poindexter-like character on the Stuck-Up Stelter team. Referring to the Facebook whistleblower and her appearance in Congress, he quoted the newsletter’s Ego-in-Chief:

Brian stelter writes: “Addiction appeared 15 times during the hearing, according to my tally and a transcript search. Lawmakers on both sides of the aisle said Facebook’s products were ‘addictive.’ Senator Amy Klobuchar When asked if Haugen thinks apps are purposefully designed to be addictive, she said the growth team’s ‘stickiness’ strategies “could be interpreted as things that facilitate addiction … “”

OK, so Stuck-Up Stelter can count and read.

Case closed.

Remember when this columnist told you about how Brian Williams, fired liar and former host of “NBC Nightly News” aka The Peacock Pinocchio was “peacock.” at 30 Rock?

His bragging displays are nothing compared to Stuck-Up Stelter, whose next-level narcissism takes over in the Peacocking Hall Of Shame.

You’ve got mail

It is said on the streets in Santa Barbara, Harry and Meghan’s new home, that the Royals, formerly known as Sussexes, are stars – just like us!

A neighbor neighbor recounted how Meghan slipped a note into her mailbox, asking if TRFKATS ‘firstborn, Archie, could have a date with that neighbor’s child.

How nice! Either way, either TRFKATS is trying to fit into the local community or they are just very lonely in the self-imposed exile of the monarchy.

No word if Meghan put her oft-praised calligraphy skills to work in drafting the press release.

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Blind object … Like, blind drunk

Before COVID, which investigative reporter would disappear for hours on end – so often his employer would forward him to see what he was doing?

Well, the marinated reporter was immersed in an investigation … into the many tastes of different beers at the pub down the street.

The Secret Tail photographed him camping for hours drinking pints and playing with his phone.

And then, of course, there were the secret visits to the massage parlor… and hey, let’s leave it at that.

Diller not in good shape

One person who won’t join Barry Diller in his Door Dash food delivery service… oops, his Dot Dash internet empire… is longtime SHAPE editor-in-chief Elizabeth Goodman Artis.

Widely regarded as one of magazine’s most talented editors, Elizabeth quit her job when the $ 2.7 billion sale of the Meredith Empire was announced.

“Hear from me,” she told her Facebook friends. “After taking the summer to travel a bit – the Caribbean, then California, then Martha’s Vineyard – and taking a lot of fun – sun, wine and way too much time on my phone – I’m delighted to report my next professional chapter! I am joining Revel Digital Collective as a new brand editorial consultant.

“Finally, grateful for the 7 years I have spent as editor-in-chief of SHAPE and proud of all the work the team has accomplished. I wish the brand and the company the best.

Congratulations to Elisabeth. Another one that bites the dust.


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